What you fail to understand is that being a proper lady means listening to the menfolk talk for hours on end. They are often like preening peacocks, so you must listen attentively and stroke their egos while taking every scrap of useful information they might divulge. The choice of word is important, because you must speak in a way that makes them at ease. A comfortable man is one who will reveal his deepest secrets for a chance at your winsome smile.