[Excuse you, his winter break plans would have worked out just fine if it wasn't for Azul and his cronies, and anyway it's not like Kalim doesn't have an even worse track record with his bright ideas. For all Jamil knows, this little plan is as well-thought-out as all the times Kalim decided to liberate the household menagerie into Asim Park.
But now that the possibility of escape tonight has been dangled in front of him--the thought of returning to the erstwhile viscount and his wife now and playing the perfectly behaved robot for however many months it will still take to pull this off feels unbearable.
Could he really get to walk away from all of this tonight? Right now? It can't possibly be that easy.
His eyes dart back toward the audience, where applause is breaking out to announce the end of the first number. They have until intermission before the couple comes looking for him, but if Jamil decides not to do this and doesn't return now it will be that much more suspicion raised that he'll have to assuage. This feels like the moment of truth.
He looks back to Kalim, at the desperate concern on his face. The desire to help is sincere, of course. Kalim doesn't have a dishonest bone in his body. Jamil believes that Kalim believes they can do this. But does Jamil believe they can do this?
Jamil's hand comes up to his neck, to finger his suppression band, a fidget he's developed to remind himself why he's doing this when everything he's balancing threatens to be come overwhelming. How often has he wished he could just rip it off himself these past several months?
He takes a deep breath. Fuck it--maybe even failing would be better than living like this.]
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But now that the possibility of escape tonight has been dangled in front of him--the thought of returning to the erstwhile viscount and his wife now and playing the perfectly behaved robot for however many months it will still take to pull this off feels unbearable.
Could he really get to walk away from all of this tonight? Right now? It can't possibly be that easy.
His eyes dart back toward the audience, where applause is breaking out to announce the end of the first number. They have until intermission before the couple comes looking for him, but if Jamil decides not to do this and doesn't return now it will be that much more suspicion raised that he'll have to assuage. This feels like the moment of truth.
He looks back to Kalim, at the desperate concern on his face. The desire to help is sincere, of course. Kalim doesn't have a dishonest bone in his body. Jamil believes that Kalim believes they can do this. But does Jamil believe they can do this?
Jamil's hand comes up to his neck, to finger his suppression band, a fidget he's developed to remind himself why he's doing this when everything he's balancing threatens to be come overwhelming. How often has he wished he could just rip it off himself these past several months?
He takes a deep breath. Fuck it--maybe even failing would be better than living like this.]
How soon can you get this thing off of me?